Crunch Time
by muishiki
Summary: A brief parody of Ranma Akane and their relationship. Mature theme.


Crunch.

"Akane… I really think you should.."

Crash.

"Put that down it could really…"

Smash

"Ow... Hurt some one. Just think…"

Crack. Rip. Whomp. Thwack.

"You never let me expl.."

Thwock. Thud.

"NOT THE FRYING PAN!"

Whack. Clang. Swat. Clunk.

Moving into an apartment with Akane had certainly helped him build up his tolerance for pain. He'd always thought that Genma had been inventive and sadistic, but he had nothing on Ranma's fiancée.

KAPOW.

* * *

Ranma was briefly relieved to be sent through the wall – at least the beating stopped for a bit. Unfortunately, he was also in a great position to watch the ground rush to meet him nearly 10 stories below. The ground was coming much to close for his liking. Hoped this landing would be soft…

* * *

Akane idly sniffed the flowers she held while waiting for Ranma to be released from the hospital. Invariably, after a spat, he always ended up at Nerima General. Usually, he was patched up and ready to go home by the time she arrived. As if on cue, the doors to the emergency room opened, discharging Ranma being escorted out by a nurse. Ranma had his left arm in a sling and was favoring his right leg a bit, but seemed to be in good spirits. Of course, it was also hard to read his expression given how many bandages covered his head. 

The nurse shot a dirty look at Akane before gently patting Ranma on the back and walking back to the emergency room. Akane shyly held the flowers in front of her, offering them to her fiancée.

"Sorry."

Ranma shrugged. "It was an accident, I know. You want to hold the flowers? My arm's kind of tied up right now."

Akane grimaced. "You okay?"

"I will be in a bit. Can we just go home?"

Akane nodded and moved to his right side, slipping under his arm to support him. He took in a sharp breath when she put her arm around his back.

"Break a rib?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"It was that damn frying pan."

"If it makes you feel any better, it broke."

Conversation died as they got into a cab and headed back home.

* * *

Akane helped Ranma out of the elevator and fished the apartment keys out of her pocket. They turned the corner in the hallway to get to the door. Akane was picking out the right key when she felt Ranma stiffen and stop. 

"What?"

He nodded at the door. Akane looked up to see a piece of paper on the door.

NOTICE TO VACATE FOR DAMAGE OF PROPERTY

Date: 20, September, 01

To: Saotome Ranma, Tendo Akane

Notice to you and all others in possession that you are hereby notified to quit and deliver up the premises you hold as our tenant.

You are to deliver up said premises on or within 3(three) insert number of days permitted within your state days of receipt of this notice.

This notice is provided due to damage of property. You may redeem your tenancy by full payment of said arrears within three days as provided under the terms of your tenancy or by state law. In the event you fail to bring your rent payments current or vacate the premises, we shall immediately take legal action to evict you and to recover all damages due us for the unlawful detention of said premises.

United Dominion Residential Community  
Landlord

CERTIFIED MAIL, Return Receipt Requested

* * *

Akane sighed. "Again?" 

"I think you need to learn to control your temper a bit better, Akane."

SMACK.

"What temper?"

* * *

Sorry for the downer of a story. Abuse IS NOT COOL, no if ands or buts. There is really never an excuse for it. I don't condone this kind of behavior, but unfortunately our favorite lovebirds seem all to prone, with Ranma being the recipient. I wanted to write a short story, 1000 words, to see if I could and also to get back into the swing of things. 

This story was inspired by the following news article:

According to police in Jacksonville, N.C., Dorothea Thomas was shot six times by her boyfriend in June and forced to jump from her apartment's second-story balcony to survive, but by the time she returned from the hospital, her landlord of nine years, United Dominion Residential Community, had posted an eviction notice, kicking her out for letting such a dangerous man come onto the property. Houston Chronicle-AP, 7-5-05 WHIO-TV (Dayton, Ohio), 7-1-05


End file.
